Proud Daddy

What looks like a group of little CalTrans workers picking up trash on the side of the freeway is, in fact, the twins' soccer team at their game last Saturday morning.  They are wearing orange pinnies to differentiate them from the opposing team who had the exact same uniforms as they did (Who planned THAT match up?).  If you look closely, you'll also notice that some (namely MY) boys are wearing full on pants AND sweaters AND jackets with hoods on top of their uniforms because it was cold and rainy.  You can even see a few drops of rain falling in the pic.  And when I say cold, I mean it was in the 40s cold.  The boys were almost soaked to the bone.  I kept waiting for the ref to call the game, but quarter after quarter he just called water breaks until finally we all heard the desperately awaited three whistles, 40 minutes after the game started.

Justin has long declared that soccer is a "real" sport because games are played in the rain.  But I watched this game as a concerned mother, worried that the welfare of her babies was in danger.  I was so sad as they were brought to tears by the pain of their cold, red hands, exposed to the freezing air.  I was sure they would end up sick the next day.  I just wanted to wrap them in a blanket and take them home, give them a long warm bath, and treat them to a steaming cup of hot chocolate.  I wanted their misery to come to an end.

Justin also watched with concern, observing as his twins sons played the same sport he played as a child and throughout high school.  He mentioned to me memories of playing in the rain and having to persevere.  So with the twins, he stayed positive despite the inclement weather.  He cheered his sons through the rain and through the cold, and I know he was proud that they finished the game despite their team losing.  

While I like to take credit for the twins' good looks and their ability to articulate incessantly (and sometimes unnecessarily), I must give credit to Justin for the determination and perseverance they showed last Saturday morning.  Now that I think about it, playing soccer in the cold, hard rain is also crazy, so for sure they get THAT from their dad.

Drivers Ed

I taught Drivers Ed tonight.  No, I didn't pick up a part time job - I simply had to drive to church.  With the twins.  In traffic.  And as I maneuvered into the fast lane, one of them asked why the lines on the freeway looked different.  Thus began the slew of questions, and because the interrogation lasted for 20 miles I am completely unapologetic for my snarky answers:

One of Them:  What's the difference between the solid line and the smaller lines?
Me:  You can't cross over the solid lines, but you can cross over the broken lines.
Them:  Why haven't you switched lanes yet?
Me:  I'm waiting for the carpool lane to open up so I can get in it.  The lines are still solid.
Them:  Well, the lines on the other side aren't solid.  Why don't you get in those lanes?
Me:  Because I don't WANT to get in those lanes.  They're slower because most people only have one person in their car.  I'm SO lucky I have the two of you with me so I can get in the faster carpool lane.
Them:  Yay!  We get to go faster!
Them again:  Ooo, that car crossed over the solid line.  What's going to happen?
Me:  Well, if a policeman sees him, he'll get a ticket.
Them:  What's a ticket?
Me:  It's something they get from the policeman that they have to pay for because they broke the law.
Them:  You mean they have to give the policeman all their money?
Me:  No, they have to go to court where there's a judge who decides.
Them:  So they give the JUDGE all their money.
Me:  NO.
Them:  So that guy is going to get a ticket?
Me:  Probably not.  I don't think a policeman saw him.
Them:  Why not?
Me:  Because there WAS NO POLICEMAN THERE.
Jed (to Jack):  But God saw him.

Super Stars - Twins Feed Themselves

Today Josephine went shopping while I took care of the boys (I call it her "vacation"). At dinnertime the twins usually sit at the table but tonight I decided to use their old trays. The trays attach to the booster seats. I had a hunch that having a tray might prevent the normal dinner time game - Sweep everything off the table onto the floor. So, I gave them the trays and placed a few peas on top. Soon the peas were flying to the ground. I tried the Gerber stars (aka flavored air). In an instant both boys were doing something they haven't done in 19 months - Grabbing food and placing it in their mouths. I sprinted over, got the video camera and started filming. Amazingly, they kept feeding themselves the stars.

When mommy got home I showed her the film and she was very proud. Another wonderful milestone reached. Now we can take the twins for Moroccan food.

Soy Bebe. Bebo Soy.

Jack and Jedidiah recently visited the pediatric gastroenterologist. They are gaining weight well but the doctor decided to discontinue some medicine and change the formula based on the amount of vomiting. So, we started a soy-based formula, increased the amount of rice cereal and stopped Reglan. The first night they reacted well to the changes. The next day we realized the extra cereal was too much - It made it more difficult for them to burp resulting in more vomits.

We hope the new changes will help Jack and Jedidiah keep their food in their tummies instead of on Mommy and Daddy. So far, so good.

Autopilot

-just as I was about to sit and write about how I only had a few seconds to record my thoughts because I'd be interrupted by a crying baby, I was interrupted by a crying baby. So, where was I?

...oh yeah. I'm a bad parent. As I sat in front of the TV watching the 7th episode straight of a sitcom series we'd rented from Netflix (DVDs delivered to your door absolutely rocks), I felt sad. No, not because of something I had just seen in the show, but of something I'd just realized. I had been feeding, changing, holding, rocking my baby for the past 3+ hours straight. But I felt no joy, no happiness. I was simply on autopilot. I'm always on autopilot. Yes, we have twins. I take care of one, then the other, then maybe that same one, then the other. I meet their needs. They're fed. They're changed. They sleep. They cry. Then I take care of their needs again. I forget they're my sons. I forget the precious little miracles that they are, born 10 weeks early yet now a strapping 12 pounds each 4 months later. I forget how much I prayed for them in the NICU, anxious to see them everyday, wanting to hold them and take care of them myself. I forget the fear I felt when they went back to the hospital and how I complained that all I wanted was for all the tubes to go away so I could take them in my arms unimpeded. They've become just "what I do" all day. I now savor the moments ("momentitos" in Spanish, which is so much more accurate because it means "little moments") of no one needing anything from me.

That's why I'm a bad parent. LORD, help me to appreciate, enjoy, and love my sons. You've given them to us because You know our needs and what we can handle, with Your help. Remind me that they're precious treasures in our care. Remind me that Jack and Jedidiah are gifts from You.

...oops, someone's crying. Vamonos.

"Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Everyone knows that babies don't come with instructions. If they did, I have a feeling the instructions would be in every language but English and written on a piece of paper in like .075 font folded into a million unrefoldable folds. If Jack and Jedidiah came with instructions, they would read like this:

Change. Feed. Vomit. Repeat.

"For He instructs him in right judgment, His God teaches him." Isaiah 28:26

Meat and babies

Things normal people can do in 3 hours:
-see a movie
-drive from L.A. to San Diego and back
-cook a pot roast in a crock pot (on the high setting)
-take a final exam in college

What we just did in the past 3 hours:
-feed and change the twins in between crying fits (theirs and ours)

I don't even get to sleep 3 hours straight, but I just spent that amount of time in the twins' room, and NO ONE there was sleeping. I suppose I shouldn't complain, because I saw an episode of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" about that couple who has twin 5 year old girls and 6 (yes, six) 18 month old babies. But that's on TV and this is MY life! Ah, I'll just tell myself to get a grip see what God has for us in all of this (besides more prayer time, since I'm up at all hours ANYWAY).

Maybe I'll go cook a pot roast and see what happens first - a cooked pot roast or twins asleep for the night.

"A faithful man will abound with blessings..." Proverbs 28:20

Sleeping Through the Night?

After taking the night off, I checked with Josephine this morning. "So, how was it last night?" She went on to explain that after going to bed around midnight, both twins slept until 6 am. Over 6 hours!

We're very excited. Three months of late night feedings might be over.

A Day in the Life...

Have you ever wondered why we never answer the phone?

We average 14 feedings per day approximately 2-3 hours apart. The feedings/changings take about 20 minutes per child. Often times they don't want to go right back down to sleep. I guess sleeping on mommy or daddy is more comfortable than a baby chair. So if you add up all the minutes spent feeding/holding them during a 24-hour period, some days it tops 10 hours (try that Jack Bauer!).

I prefer to feed the twins in the family room during the day instead of the cave (their room). If I am caring for them by myself I like to put on a movie. I have grown fond of subtitles during this time because I found out the hard way that movie sounds trigger vomiting. So, today I watched Spiderman 2 and U-571 with subtitles and only one spitup.

Both have acid - reflux so we hold them for up to 30 minutes after each feeding. Another reason we do this is their vomit reflex. If you put them down in the chair too early - up comes lunch. Actually, if you look at them wrong - up comes lunch. Neither twin has slept in their real beds since leaving Children's Hospital. The position is too uncomfortable. They usually sleep in the baby chair, in a swing or on mommy or daddy.

Needless to say, Jonah and Jame have spent a lot of time on independent activities such as playing with cars, tackling brother or watching DVDs. When they wake up, Josephine and I are usually changing shifts. Whoever has the night shift stumbles down the hallway for a couple hours of sleep while the other tells Jonah and James to pick out a video. After the video and the twin's first feeding of the day, Jonah and James eat breakfast. The rest of the morning is spent playing or running errands with mommy or daddy. Jonah and James get along really well most of the time. It is neat to sit back and watch them play, laugh and talk. They crack us up.

Thanks again everyone for your prayers. The twins are healthy boys who love to eat. We have been blessed (and stretched) by them during this busy time. We try our best to enjoy them but are looking forward to the day when they sleep through the night.