C.L.A.Y.

One of the major stereotypes about homeschooled kids is that they are not socialized or that they don't have proper social skills.  I know my own kids may not be socially perfect, but they have enough sense to say "Please" and "Thank You" most of the time.  And as far as I know, they don't put buckets on their heads and spin in circles to avoid conversations, and they'll gladly tell you their current interests or even ask about yours.

Because of this, I was happy to host the Christmas party for the 6th-8th graders in our homeschool group.  The party had the usual fun stuff:  an ornament exchange, chocolate pretzel making and games.  There were five girls and six boys in attendance, and while the goal was for them to have fun, MY goal was to ensure that my son isn't weird around girls.  When I was 11, I already had a handful of crushes on boys in my class, and I showed it by punching them, ignoring them, or acting like I hated them.  I want my sons to know that it's OK to act regular around girls - to treat them with respect and courtesy but also to be friendly with them.  I want them to know that girls are not aliens, like beings completely different from them who don't deserve their attention.  And right now I want my eldest son to understand that if the Lord wills that he be married someday, he needs to be friends with the girl first.

I am happy to say that the party was a success.  In his usual style, my son freely talked about the latest episodes of Lego Chima one moment, and in the next he was confidently instructing all 10 guests and leading them in a game of Apples to Apples.  All the kids acted like you'd expect 6th-8th graders to act, even making messes and not cleaning up after making the chocolate pretzels.  Although all the boys and girls who came may have their awkward moments, I'm assured that they know how to conduct themselves properly, and I pray that my son is friends with them all for a very long time.

I forgot to mention that "C.L.A.Y" stands for "Christ Loves All Youth", but with my party I'd also call it "D.B.W.A.G.":  "Don't Be Weird Around Girls".

Drivers Ed

I taught Drivers Ed tonight.  No, I didn't pick up a part time job - I simply had to drive to church.  With the twins.  In traffic.  And as I maneuvered into the fast lane, one of them asked why the lines on the freeway looked different.  Thus began the slew of questions, and because the interrogation lasted for 20 miles I am completely unapologetic for my snarky answers:

One of Them:  What's the difference between the solid line and the smaller lines?
Me:  You can't cross over the solid lines, but you can cross over the broken lines.
Them:  Why haven't you switched lanes yet?
Me:  I'm waiting for the carpool lane to open up so I can get in it.  The lines are still solid.
Them:  Well, the lines on the other side aren't solid.  Why don't you get in those lanes?
Me:  Because I don't WANT to get in those lanes.  They're slower because most people only have one person in their car.  I'm SO lucky I have the two of you with me so I can get in the faster carpool lane.
Them:  Yay!  We get to go faster!
Them again:  Ooo, that car crossed over the solid line.  What's going to happen?
Me:  Well, if a policeman sees him, he'll get a ticket.
Them:  What's a ticket?
Me:  It's something they get from the policeman that they have to pay for because they broke the law.
Them:  You mean they have to give the policeman all their money?
Me:  No, they have to go to court where there's a judge who decides.
Them:  So they give the JUDGE all their money.
Me:  NO.
Them:  So that guy is going to get a ticket?
Me:  Probably not.  I don't think a policeman saw him.
Them:  Why not?
Me:  Because there WAS NO POLICEMAN THERE.
Jed (to Jack):  But God saw him.

"Let Me Count the Ways..."

Now that I'm using the Bob Jones University curriculum for phonics for the twins, today I had to ask myself "Seriously, how many ways ARE there to read the "long a" /ā/ sound??"  I never paid this much attention before!  So here are the ways:
1. when "marker e" is at the end of the word, making the first vowel say the long sound, as in "gate"
2. when two vowels are together in a word, the first one does the talking and the second one does the walking, as in "mail"
3. and in today's lesson, it was about the "-ay" ending, as in "way"

I don't know why I had to tell you because you probably already knew.  Duh.  Actually, if you have yet to teach this to your kids, just show them this post and the pic above.  Boom - you're done.  And you're welcome.

I just realized there's another one:
4. "ey" as in "grey"

So props to my twins for being only six years old and deciphering this minutia of the English language.  And props to you if you know what "minutia" means.

Boiled Chicken Can Be Fab

At the risk of being put on the black list of a dear friend, I am posting her recipe for probably the BEST chicken salad I have ever had.  I have not asked her permission to share it but it's just after 11pm my time and I'm trying to squeak in a post.  I figure I could write a recipe quickly and have it count as my post AND as the highlight of my day.  Two birds, you know?

THE BEST CHICKEN SALAD EVER
also known as
WHAT TO MAKE FOR DINNER WHEN YOU'RE AT YOUR SON'S BASKETBALL PRACTICE AND YOU REALIZE YOU HAVEN'T PREPARED ANYTHING AND ALL YOU HAVE IS BOILED CHICKEN

4 chicken breasts, boiled and shredded
4 stalks celery, diced
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup (ish) of mayo

Toss all ingredients together in a large bowl.  Serve in sliced croissants if you're fancy, in wheat bread if you're healthy, or do what I do and eat it right out of the mixing bowl if you're just plain hungry.

And please don't ask me how many it serves.  All I know is that I have six people in my family and everyone gets fed.  Please don't ask me the nutritional value, either.  All I can say is that it has nutrients which are very valuable.

And yes, it was the highlight of my day and will continue to be until it runs out or unless my husband gives me an early Christmas present.

Christmas List

Does anyone else's Christmas list look like this?

1. Finish off Thanksgiving leftovers

2. Find a home for the pumpkin pie that was brought to your after-Thanksgiving party because it never got eaten at someone else's Thanksgiving the day before

3. Put up a Christmas wreath on the front door

4. Disagree with those who say "just decorate the front door" and convince your husband to go into the garage and pull down all the boxes of Christmas decorations

5. Spend all day creating Christmas cards online because your Groupon is about to expire

6. Forget how to spell the word "Christmas" because you've been staring at it all day making sure there are no spelling mistakes on your Christmas cards

7. Drink a large cup of coffee at 6pm because you're on your way to help with the Christmas choir and play rehearsal at church

8. Wish you had another cup of coffee halfway through rehearsal

9. Come home and eat the last 3/4" piece of baguette someone inconsiderately left in the bread bag

10. Keep your promise and blog before midnight

Hmmm... I didn't think so.

The Most Blogger-ful Time of the Year

Inspiration can come from anywhere.  Realizing that it's already December was the inspiration for me to continue my blogging tradition of frantically writing at the end of the year, just so I can "keep up" my blog (like "keeping up" the roots of your hair by wearing hats in between salon visits).  But I told my husband that, starting today, I WILL blog everyday until Christmas - I WILL.  Now I may be falsely assuming that there is still interest in my blog, but if I treat my audience like I treat my husband, I'll just go on and on whether anyone is paying attention or not.

So "Why the picture of the painted nails?", you ask?  (Herein begins the "writing with abandon".)  In keeping with the theme of "inspiration", I was recently inspired to retry new things, the first being to paint my nails.  For those of you unfamiliar, I haven't painted my fingernails for years.  Actually, decades.  No joke.  If my old mind serves me correctly, I think I last had my nails done when my oldest brother got married.  In 1997.  And they were acrylic, so waiting for those darn things to grow out and trying to pick them off was only part of why I never painted my nails again.  And now I am also a stay at home mom.  I have four sons.  I have no maid.  I love to cook.  But I tried to deny these facts and submit to the powers of Pinterest, so I had a friend buy me a bottle of OPI Roadhouse Blues (like the pic above).  The reason I had a friend buy it for me is because OPI is an expensive brand of nail polish and my friend is a hairstylist so she gets me discounts at the supply store and as I said I'm a stay at home mom so I try to be cheap without looking like it.  Anyway, I somehow found an extra hour in my day and actually painted my nails - base coat and top coat and all!  (I know, check me.)  I absolutely loved it, was so proud of myself for doing it, and felt so hip wearing dark nail polish!  (Hmmm, I think using the word "hip" just negated any coolness I just built up for myself.)  Well, as we all know, painting your nails doesn't take away life's responsibilities, so only two days later my nails looked like this:

I should have taken another pic after I finished the laundry that day, but if you can imagine nails with no polish on them whatsoever you've pretty much got the picture.  I was actually hoping to paint them again today:  I wanted the whole "New Look, New Blog" theme, but seeing as it's dinner time and I wanted to squeeze in this post before reheating Thanksgiving fare, painting my nails will have to wait - again.

And since the Christmas season has begun and I must somehow segue from nail polish to the birth of Jesus Christ, I am rebooting my blog with my FIRST EVER CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY!  Just leave a comment telling me how often you paint your nails, and you'll be entered to win your very own bottle of OPI Roadhouse Blues!  I know you're thinking that I'm just going to give you the rest of my unused bottle, but I'm not.  (Winner will be announced on this post on Friday, 12/6.)

So readers, join me in raising a bottle of nail polish as we begin a new season of inspiration!  Here's to streams of thought, unaccomplishable Pinterest projects, and Baby Jesus!

Nontraditional Traditions

Before the end of 2012 I thought I'd try and squeeze in a SECOND blog entry during the year.  My excuse for lack of more blog entries is the usual:  having four sons.  I am constantly in search of new holiday traditions for their sake, to make their Christmas memories more meaningful.  Take my own traditions, for instance.  "Traditional"?  Maybe not.  "Meaningful"?  Absolutely.

I wear tights.  And I don't mean leggings (though my friend had an awkward situation where a woman she saw at the bank was wearing tights as if they were leggings, short shirt and all - but that's a different conversation all together).  I mean tights.  I used to wear stockings all the time when I was in sales and had to wear a suit, but that was 11 years and four children ago.  Now I just reserve the opportunity to once a year to treat my thighs and legs like ground pork and force them into cotton/polyester casings that make them look sausage-like.  All for the holidays.  This year I attempted to wear the patterned-type of tights, but seeing as it was ribbed I realized too late that the lines are supposed to go STRAIGHT down my legs, not all curvy around the thick parts.  Oh well, live and learn (as in "learn to wear a longer skirt next year").

Justin and I watch "While You Were Sleeping".  Yes, other more traditional Christmas movies are on the list, but we've been fans of this movie since we were dating.  The funny thing is, most people don't know about this Sandra Bullock film from 1995.  But its loveable main character and message about the importance of family actually make it our favorite movie of all time.  It's because of this movie that I want Justin to take me to Chicago someday.  It's also the reason that the words "Mary mashed them" always crack me up.

I call one of my brothers, or he calls me, not even on Christmas, and not even to greet each other.  We try to be the first to call the other upon legitimately hearing "Do They Know It's Christmas?" or "Last Christmas" (and by "legitimately" I mean hearing most of the song and actually paying attention to it).  We're both big fans of the 80s and we can't even let it go during the holidays.  I think we've been doing this since, well, the 80s.  The call goes something like:
"I heard the song."
"Cool.  Where are you?"
"At the bank." or "In the car."
... and that's pretty much it.  This might be one of my favorite Christmas traditions, but don't tell my brother I said that.

Although I am sure these three nontraditional traditions will still top the list of 2013, there are a handful of things I hope NOT to add to that list.  Like "blogged just two times".  Or "can't do without 'Home Alone'".  Or "became fruitcake's #1 fan".

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."  John 1:14